Oops I did it again

I played with your heart got lost in the game...

and I am sorry...

No I didn't play with your heart or if I did I was unaware...so I am not sorry

But I was bad, I didn't post anything in November and aside from this 

most likely will not post anything in December, and I am so sorry about that.

I know I suck! I am sorry, I really am!

I have been busy...so so busy! 

 (And so so broke and honestly a brunch where the meal consists of pb&j and five dollar vodka doesn't need to be talked about, ever!)

Plus my apartment is falling apart and sorta smells like a public bathroom because of it (don't ask) so hosting is out of the question right now.

(Excuses! Excuses!)

Things are looking up though so don't worry!

If not cooking and eating and writing, what have I been doing?

Funny you asked, because basically those three things just not brunch-related cooking, eating and writing. Joe and I actually hosted Thanksgiving!

It was crazy!

I learned a few helpful things:

Turkey cook times are a lie! those asshole birds are going to do whatever the eff they want and they don't care about your plans- I respect that attitude, so I am not that mad.

Mashed potatoes should only be made with boiled potatoes not baked! I really don't know why I did that!

Sixty beers is not enough...

 But bacon leek stuffing is amazing

And cute kids make people get along even when they are stressed, it's like magic!

Also leftover hash is not as good as you think it's going to be sometimes...

...Let's see what else has been going on I have been cross stitching a lot and,

I made some new friends...(I know good for me right, that's a totally new thing for me so just pretend you are proud)!

Oh and I got jalapeno vodka, I have yet to try it though...

Aside from that you just the usual hair-pulling-out associated with the holidays. 

Every year I am all like "No, I am not going to get stressed I am going to get everything I need done and stay cheery as fuck and my plans are totally solid and so it will be amazing" 

Then by the second week of November I am all like "For the love of doughnuts can this please just end already, I am going to ho ho ho punch you all in the face! Drive this sleigh straight to hell" and then I calm down and am all like "Next year better be better or I don't even know what"

*Any ways next year will be better though so it's all good.

(I am apprehensive to tell you all my exciting brunch plans because that 

creates something for me to live up to...but I am going to anyways)

So most of my brunches may be evolving to "Crafty lady days"

My thinking behind it is:

I love crafts

I obviously love brunch

And I like my friends sorta kinda...enough anyways

The problem

I get distracted when I make crafts by myself

Joe doesn't like brunch

I never really have time for my friends...

So the solution is have my crafty (or not crafty) lady friends over make brunch for us (blerg about the food here) and after we eat we all hang out and craft and talk...BAM!

Plus a wise woman once said "brunch is where people wine about problems that aren't real" and who is better at that than a group of cat lovin' ladies who craft? 

(The answer is no one!)

I will be dedicating one of my first posts of 2013 to one of my life long heroes (there will be some glitter involved)

Can you guess who?

I also plan to be putting up A LOT more pictures in with my posts...(you know like of the food and stuff)!

Uh...well I guess the only other plan I have is having a doughnut bar brunch...

(no I do not care to elaborate) 

So that will all be very very cool

Well, enjoy the rest of the year and whatever you celebrate may it be merry!

*This is all banking on the world not ending next week...

Byeee!

Tips and Tricks! (I have never loved the world more!)

That's actually a total LIE!

That thing is happening again! 

FREAK OUT, 

RUN HIDE! 

FIND A BOMB SHELTER TO OCCUPY!!!

(actually don't occupy...err...ehh...HIDE! that's the word)

Sorry I am okay now...back to the "thing"...yes.

Well every four years everyone in the US looses their fucking mind!

I mean completely looses it!

People are constantly fighting and yelling about being offended, people are unfriending each other  and the news is totally boring because nothing else in the world exists except for the up coming election...and don't even get me started on the people who canvas, yikes. It's totally insane.

But there is an end in sight!

November 6th!

So I say why not celebrate the end of this traumatic time of year with brunch!

(Well the end of most of it, there is still some lingering "I told you so" and,

 "I am totally moving to (any other country)" 

for a few months.

Any who I know brunch on a Tuesday is nuts but, people get time off for voting or play hookie anyways right?!

(I don't really know how this all works but....it doesn't really matter)

SO WHY NOT?!

Because emotions will be running high and people will be anxious about the impending doom/glory we will need to be sensitive.

So, as not to offend or bring up hot topics your guests will want to debate I
have come up with some foods to stay away from:

(you're welcome)

1. Eggs, because eggs are aborted chickens and that's going to offend everyone!

2. Any food that looks like or is code for a vagina.

3. Apples, teachers like apples and teachers make people think of education, class sized, and unions. On top of  all that if all Americans ate one apple a day we wouldn't need health care reform, or even doctors really. I guess. Never would I have expected doctors and teacher to cause so much trouble.

4. Any thing green, money is green...and no one has any money (except the rich people), because nobody has any jobs (except for rich people, or most of them anyways), and because of the lack of jobs and money people are having a hard time buying things and that hurts the economy, and that creates debt and that all leads to taxes...what a tangled web that is, best to just avoid it!

5. Lolli pops, because of the banks DUH!

6. Chicken, you don't want to remind people of that whole Chic-fil-A mess and in turn bring up the issue of same sex marriage, I would also stay away from anything that is rainbow colored, or wedding cake like.

7. Carbonated beverages, carbonated: carbon: carbon footprint: carbon emissions: alternative fuel: clean energy...BAM! See how dangerous that would be!

8. Game meat, why you may ask? Obviously because that shit is acquired by hunting and hunting involves guns, and we still aren't settled on the issue of weather guns kill people or if people kill people and until that is figured out the topic is bust avoided.

9. Avoid oatmeal, jello, canned vegetables, and stale hard candies, because that's old people food and you what old people are? No not, adorable reminders of a simpler time, full of stories and wisdom. A trigger for a lovely debate about Medicare and government spending...(I know it sounds crazy but go look at your twitter, do you really what that shit happening live in your home?)

10. No Mexican food! Actually it is best to stay away from all foreign foods, because the trifecta of all these little pointless debates is on the line! IMMIGRATION, FOREIGN POLICY and TERRORISM!

GASP!

...

You know now that I have this all laid out I don't know if we can make this work...

So let's abandon the whole idea all together (along with all hope)!

I will offer one last bit of advice for surviving (with at least half your sanity) interactions with other humans over the next few months:

Have,

Ear plugs and,

Alcohol on hand at all times, 

and if you must entertain my one food suggestion (the only non-offensive food):

FREEDOM FRIES!

Good luck! 

***Disclaimer***

Starting at the top, none off this should offend you, if it does I don't want to hear about it!

Also;

I find Freedom fries very offensive actually!

That's what I said asshole

 Ha that scene used to make us laugh so hard, we used to rewind it and watch it over and over.

(I don't remember much else from that movie, but I am sure it wasn't supposed to be as funny as I thought it was...oh well)

Anyways Joe and I bought a rotisserie chicken this weekend from the Shaws.

 (that's so unlike us, I know) 

Pinterest made me do it, it promised that you could make 37 different things from the leftovers!

(all of those things were gross...and we didn't have that much left over anyways)

So we had a little left over chicken and biscuits and NOTHING to do with them!

But never fear I came up with the best plan ever!

My brain was all like "make hack job Cracker Barrel Sunday brunch"

What does that even mean???

Well basically my two favorite CB brunch things are:

Chicken and mashed potatoes and biscuits and gravy!

So basically I would make country gravy with shredded rotisserie chicken in it and put it on biscuits make home fries and steamed spinach with bacon to go with?

I am so smart!

(so smart)

So the biscuits and chicken I already had (biscuits from a can obvi!)

If you don't have left overs and couldn't figure this out you will need biscuits and pulled chicken that's cooked

and for the gravy all you need is:

1/2 cup vegetable oil (I used the vegan butter we have...same thing basically)

2/3 cup flour

2 1/2- 3 cups milk

pinch of salt

and a lot of black pepper (I mean it doesn't have to be a lot but it should be!)

Make the home fries first and have them in the oven. (home fries)

Then for the gravy put the oil (or butter) in a large fry pan with the flour and cook on low heat stirring constantly until it thickens, bring the heat to medium and add milk slowly while stirring constantly until it looks gravy constancy (duh) let that boil when it does turn the heat back to low add salt pepper and chicken and cover stirring occasionally. If you can between all that stirring chop some bacon and cook it (if you can't that's fine just do it after), Now warm your biscuits in the oven, then in a pan with a lid put in your washed spinach that's still a little wet and the bacon steam on high hear for four to five minutes stirring once in a while. (I saved some bacon for Joe because he can't eat spinach). 

Then you are done! Open up the biscuit and scoop on the chicken gravy (I sprinkled bacon on top of Joe's) and load up the rest of the stuff on the plate, we had peaches and strawberry fruit salad on the side as well. 

It was good!

On to some sad news two (sucky) people were all like "It's so lame that brunch isn't a big deal in the US" and I am so not one to get all "USA! USA! USA!" but that made me a little mad it totally is! I have waited hours for brunch outside restaurants and it part of most holidays (or the day after holidays at least for my family) also I highly doubt that where they are from people eat brunch  every fuckin' weekend!

However, if this is the popular opinion then step it up my American (or those currently residing in the states) bitches!

Stop being lazy! 

MORE BRUNCH!

OH THE SAME! 

THE SHAME!

Okay I am done now. Bye-bye y'all.

Oh goodness I almost did it again!!

I am a slacker!

Truth be told though we haven't been eating much brunch.

I know its sad...so so sad!

But Joe has been off dairy and though I know how to make many vegan things he hasn't been super into it.

Also it not just dairy a few other things too

...like...

GASP! CAFFEINE!

(Yeah so I totally have a serious headache right now...fun fun)

But two things we have had a brunch (ha get it) are breakfast boats, and breakfast samiches!

"What's a breakfast boat?

Don't care I want it!"

That is what you should be saying to yourself...I mean anything eatable that comes in or is described as a boat is amazing!

So breakfast boats can be built out of two different things:

Bread or potatoes.

So basically you carve out a loaf of bread (a baguette, I like getting small six inch ones form Panera or the Shaws bakery, you need a bread with a hard crust all the way around...sub rolls DON'T work!) or if you are using potato it needs to be baked (yes it has to be baked or microwaved...leftovers work perfect) and then you cut a thin layer off the top and hollow it out.

Seems easy but you have to be careful that you don't puncture the bread crust or potato skin.

Once they are hallow,  you just fill them with beaten eggs, sausage/bacon, and (vegan) cheese!

It doesn't have to be egg, sausage and cheese, you can add anything you want...like veggies, you could go all south-western with it with peppers and beans and salsa...I mean get creative maaaannnn

Anyways you mix all the fillings with the eggs, then with your boat (be it bread or potato) on a foiled baking sheet, fill it add a little extra cheese and a little pepper, then bake it at 400 until the eggs are fully cooked!

It's pretty easy we eat these a lot for brunch and for dinner!

So anyways I will do better next month and post a bunch...maybe!

Byees!

I'm Twenty-Five

And I have just realized I fail at life (not really just)!

There is no coming back from this

Why am I being so dramatic?

Well

I 

....

I love Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!

SHAME!

(I am not going to add a link for anyone who may not know what I am talking about, I don't think I could forgive myself, but you can look it up if you dare)

I know!

I don't even know why I love it, I just sit there watching it speechless, with this horrified look on my face and even when it ends I am not sure how I feel I just know that I want to see more!

(That has nothing to do with brunch I know but I am going somewhere with all this)

 This shameful confession is not really the only reason I feel I am failing (I will spare you all the woe is me shit though), and plus everyone keeps reminding me I am only a quarter of a century old so like if I can defy all odds and live till 100, only a quarter of my life is over so far...that's plenty of time to at least pull off a C+ at life right?!

Well defying odds has never really been my thing, so in honor of my birthday, my confusing love/hate thing with Honey Boo Boo, failing life, and hopefully a better 25 than 24, today's brunch will feature the most unhealthy but amazingly good, guilty pleasure brunch my evil genius could have come up with

... Drum roll please...

Brunch Burgers with Oven Fries 

and to wash it all down

Micheladas!

What is a brunch burger...well Paula Deen made them once on her show so that's proof they are bad for you.
They are pretty much exactly what they sound like:
Hamburger
Fried egg
Cheese
Bacon!
(Oh wow I am so hungry right now!)
I like mine with sharp cheddar cheese, hollandaise sauce and Tabasco on sourdough roll with avocado on the side!
Joe likes the sourdough rolls, cheddar cheese, tomato and lettuce.
You can top them with anything really!
And they are so good but so filling (make the burgers thin)!

Oven fries are easy! Trader Joe's makes some good ones but if you want to make them yourself:
Cut potato into fry shape (peel or don't peel, I don't care)
Boil for a few minutes, then rinse in cold water and pat dry, put them in a bowl and toss with olive oil, salt and pepper (also you can add grillers seasoning, adobo, seasoned salt or garlic powder).
Bake at 350 for about twenty minutes, turn half way, you will know they are done when they are crispy.

Now Micheladas, I may be a professional drinker but a mixologist I am not, so...I am going to leave you under the expertise of Miss Mamrie Hart, she is not only amazing a making drinks she is amazing at making puns (so obviously I love her)!

Oh funny funny!
But actually very good (the jars make them better though) I normally am not a huge fan of tomato juice so I was apprehensive, but by trial and error you can find some really mild tomato juices that don't taste like soup!

Well that's it, it's bad for you over indulgent and sure to be a guilty pleasure, this is my theme for twenty-five...not sure it's any different for the rest of my life...but...eh...

Mise en place

In other words get your shit together!

(sorta I mean it literally means 'putting in place')

But lets not argue semantics, just know that it does sort of relate to all of this...sorta. (click) See?

Either way what I am talking about is and day before prep for an impressive brunch.

so people will be all like:

"you were so wasted last night you fell off your bar stool and then cried and told the bar tender you ain't got no beef, how the fuck did you get up and make all this impressive food before noon even...bitch you like a tequila super hero"
Well maybe they won't...but they might and that makes it worth it!
(not to mention the low effort high payoff brunchy brunch ahh hangover food!)

So let's get started,
I like making things like quiche or frittatas the night before because you can half assemble them or assemble cook and then just reheat in the morning, and they are so good!

Potato, Asparagus, and Bacon Fritatta
 (because that's my fave!)
 I am going to do the more mise en place version rather than the cook ahead.

So the night before:
cook the bacon
slice potatoes thin and boil for three - five minutes, set aside to cool
shred asparagus
Chop fresh herbs  get the Italian spice grinder

Then get a glass pie pan, and grease with olive oil
(if you are a fancy pants a cast iron pan will make this look farm house chic...OHH!)
Place a layer of potato at the bottom, grind some spice on,
then cover that with bacon strips,
then on goes the shredded asparagus and a little more spice.
Wrap the pan tightly in cling wrap and put it in the fridge.

Get a bowl and four - six eggs depending on how big your pan is (mind the fact that eggs rise a lot when baked)
Beat the eggs with a couple table spoons milk black pepper and a little crushed red pepper. Put the eggs in a baggie (maybe two if you buy the cheap kind like we do) put it back in the fridge.


Next up:
Cinnamon Rolls
These are more of a make ahead no morning assembly required thing (mostly).

I am not going to write this one out because I am using a recipe from injennieskitchen.com .
It is as the title says foolproof, I also really enjoy that there is no yeast, because I don't have the time or the patience for that shit! (also in case you missed it, the link to the recipe is the word 'recipe').
 Basically what you will do is:
Fallow the recipe (duh!) except don't preheat the oven because you aren't baking them now (duh!).
Do everything it says through getting them in the pan, then stop, cover in cling wrap and put it in the fridge.
Make the icing and also cover and refrigerate that.


Now go out get drunk and sleep.

When you wake up...hopefully not sick, take out the cinnamon rolls and icing (the cinnamon rolls will need to sit out for thirty minutes before baking), make the coffee. Pre-heat the oven to 425 then take your pan fritatta and bag of eggs out ...add the eggs to the pan, put a little cheese on top and bake twenty minutes. After twenty minutes put the cinnamon rolls in the oven (it has been close to enough time for them to sit out unless you messed up). Cook all that for twenty to twenty-five minutes more, the eggs in the fritatta should be cooked through and the filling of the rolls should be bubbly. Let them rest for a few minutes and stir the now soft again icing, ice the rolls and serve!

Oh my word you did it, just like I am sure you did not embarrass yourself last night, YOU ROCK!

I want to have brunch with this chick

...But I will do the cooking

Just a little brunch related fun!

Guest Post!

Oh goody fun fun!

My awesome sister wrote a guest post! I am so happy about it! 

(because I really had nothing to write about this month...it's been too hot!)

Buuut Holly saves the day! 

She is my hero! She is thrifty, smart and the coolest mom ever (sorry mom)!

So she wrote some super cheap fun recipes that are kid friendly!

This is extra exciting because no part of my life is really "kid friendly" at all, especially some of my favorite brunch foods (this doesn't pose a huge issue for me because I don't know many people with kids and so I don't have to worry about kids being at brunch). I thought though that this would be a good thing to share because its not only kid friendly food it's really good food! 

So enjoy!

Dough.

So I love making life easier and cheap food. Here is a list of fantastic doughy, yummy recipes that I make for only .45 plus some stuff around the house. All recipe’s start as follows:

Start with your base of Hannaford brand dinner rolls in a tube (we buy the small that has 6 rolls for .45)

Cut each roll into 4 pieces and preheat your oven to 350 F.

Cheesy Garlic Drops:

In a glass bowl melt 2 tbs butter and add chopped garlic, fresh garlic or the kind in a jar but DON’T use powdered – gross, and a pinch of Italian seasoning. Add “dough drops” to the mixture and use your hands to get them all coated evenly. In a medium cupcake pan, evenly distribute the dough between the cups and top with shredded mozzarella. Bake for 10(ish) minutes or until the cheese and bread are slightly brown and dough is cooked through. Great with anything.

Mini Monkey Bread:

In a glass bowl melt 2 tbs butter and add 1 tsp cinnamon and 1 tsp sugar. Add “dough drops” to the mixture and use your hands to get them all coated evenly. In a medium cupcake pan, evenly distribute the dough between the cups. Bake for 10(ish) minutes or until the bread is slightly brown and dough is cooked through. Great for breakfast.

Apple Cinnamon Yums:

Cut one baking apple into ½ inch chunks and boil for 3 minutes until they begin to soften. In a glass bowl melt 3 tbs butter and add 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp sugar and 3 tbs oats. Add “dough drops” and apple chunks to the mixture and use your hands to get them all coated evenly. In a medium cupcake pan, evenly distribute the dough between the cups. Bake for 10(ish) minutes or until the bread is slightly brown and dough is cooked through. Top with vanilla ice cream if desired. Great for picnic desert.

When you are distributing the bits, make sure your cups are no more than ¾ full as they will rise. If you have some left over just make two batches. Because butter is a big ingredient, you don’t need to use cupcake liners but you can if you are traveling with them or just like an easier cleanup! Enjoy!

PlusPeace

YAY!

If you want to check out other stuff by my cool sister check out her blog Nifty things for thrifty moms!

Also she makes sillybets (if you don't know what that means it's okay just check out the store here!)

Well that all for July I will see you in August for birthday brunch, and some other fun shit!

Tips and trinks from someone who has no clue what they are talking about!

Oh fun fun we are doing this again!!

By this I mean I am giving advice that is probably not that good/ common sense/ unwanted/ unneeded, but ahh thus is the nature of advice in general!

First tip: I was never a pancake maker or even liker, not because I am apposed to a sort of cake that is socally acceptable to eat in the morning, because I mean come on I live for that shit! No the reason I hated pancakes is because I always sucked at making them! Not only was my first pancake a mess (I have to to the bottom of the common problem...wait for it) but the rest would be burnt or under cooked or oddly shaped (...I know thats not a huge issue but...). Any ways one day I was attempting to make pancakes for the boys an informal brunch sort of thing, and so I mixed up my batter and then got distracted...so my batter sat for about five or so minutes before I started cooking them...and by gosh the first one came out amazingly fluffy and perfect! I also keep the heat on med and re-butter between each pancake ('cuz I am a fatty). I really don't know if this is part of pancake recipes or if there is any scientific reason as to why this is effective but it does work for me! I mix up the batter let it sit for three to five minutes and then mix it again then pour into the pan and it works...no more flat saggy pancakes! 

Oh hey also add vanilla extract and a little cinnamon to your pancakes its awesome!

Next tip not just syrup tastes good on pancakes! Like a billion other things are amazing on pancakes! I never liked the real "100% pure Vermont maple syrup" (yeah I am low rent so what I like things fake and sweeeet) but that is all my mom would bye and my sister always liked it so I didn't really have anyway of winning that fight, only the option to not eat syrup. So here is a hort list of things that are so good on pancakes:

Nutella + banana + walnuts

Grilled peaches

Mixed berries + whipped cream

Jelly

Warm apples and cinnamon

Lemon curd

Honey + cream cheese

And to be a little savory and crazy

 (this all works best with pancakes that are a little less sweet, and for the love of all things cake do not add cinnamon and vanilla to them if you are doing this)

Sausage + sharp cheddar cheese

Holendaise + ham + egg

Ham + dill cream cheese

I mean the possibilitys are endless really...so why not have a pancake buffet? 

No really why not? Do it!

  

This is the recipe I normally use to make pancakes:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour, (spooned and leveled)
• 2 tablespoons sugar (you don't have to use that much)
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup milk
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, or vegetable oil
• 1 large egg

Mix the wet then mix in the dry....like anything else, and remember a few lumps are okay in pancake batter, let it sit for a few minutes before you make them (not more than five probably I mean there's raw eggs in there dumdum), and leave your oven at two-hundred or the warm setting with a tinfoiled pan inside so when the pancakes are done you can put them in there and all eat together when you are done cooking!

"and that's all I have to say about that"

(I love going to the 'memorable quotes' from Forest Gump on imdb and reading them to myself in his voice...is that weird?)

Ah but really that is all I have to say...BYEE!

Oh happy day!

The past weekend was a perfect balance of happy, excited, stress, relaxing, fun, and drunk!

Those weekends don't happen often and when they do it's hard to come to terms with them ending (I actually shut off my alarm thins morning and went back to sleep thinking it was Sunday...witch it was not and I was late(ish) for work).

Anyways as traumatic as that was that's not really what I am here to talk about.

Part of all the flurry of mostly good things that happened this weekend was finding out my roommate that I don't get along with is moving out (we actually found this out a week before I think...but I was in shock for the week). So with someone leaving and someone new coming in we get a chance to sort of restart, to make house rules that are actually followed and do a little redecorating and fingers crossed the person we want to move in can! I am very excited in case you couldn't tell!

Seeing as I was in a really good mood, I obviously wanted brunch and since all of my friends/ people I force to eat food I cook were busy I thought maybe it would be nice to just have a Kelsey and Joe brunch.

What ended up happening was a totally unplanned celebratory roommate brunch, with my roomie that's staying! To make this all more crazy, because it wasn't planned I had to go to Shaws in the morning, witch means I woke up before Joe got dressed (even put on lipstick because I was feeling fancy) took the train to Shaws and walked home! That's impressive for a Saturday morning!

So I decided that I wanted to make a somewhat healthy brunch (weather or not I actually did or not is up to debate) but we had over-easy eggs on potato sausage hash, with sourdough toast and a strawberry arugula salad with grapes and lemon pepper dressing!

How I did it: I got tiny red potatoes because they were cute and on sale so I washed and cut them into little chuncks then boiled them for just a little bit, while those were boiling I thawed the sausage I had and chopped strawberries for the salad and made the dressing (juice from 1 lemon and about 1tsp. olive oil and some fresh ground pepper). I then strained the potato and set aside while I chopped up the sausage then on the flattop grill I mixed the potato and sausage with a little Italian grinder spice, ground black pepper and a tiny bit of crushed red pepper, I then covered it and put the salad together. Once the sausage and potato start getting crispy start to toast the toast and fry the eggs, when that's done you are done! YAY!

I actually got some rectangle white plates/platters (like on fancy food network shows) and had this all plated really nice but we forgot to take a picture, we suck!

I totally didn't think the boys would like the salad or the whole concept of morning salad but it was well after noon when we sat down so they tried it and well at least said they liked it...small victories.

We had no mimosas (or any other booze) because Doug was sick and we needed the champagne I had for a toast earlier in the week anyways.

If it looks like a bubbling pan of sick and smells just about the same...

...Than it must be Cheesy Sleezy

Ah sounds appetizing right?

Brunch when you are broke is a little hard to pull off, or at least for me it is because I want to go all out. I want it to be fancy and pretty and elegant (it never turns out that way anyways but...).

So seeing as I am more broke now than I have been in the past few months and well June is going to be an insane month (and baby Bears brunch didn't happen surprise surprise...) I am going to dust off one of Joe and I's favorite cheap brunches.

We really can't get anyone else we know to eat this so normally is is just me and Joe super hungover eating this till we explode, while watching a Steven Segul movie at 1pm in our pajamas.

We found this recipe (along with our favorite sangria recipe) in this book, it's an awesome cook book and you should buy it!

All you will need is:

2- 4 eggs

1/4lb cheddar cheese sliced

1/2 tube breakfast sausage

1 green pepper diced

2- 4 slices of toast

1 can refried beans

black pepper

crushed red pepper

(It says to add onion and salt I think but we don't like onion so we leave it out, also optional hot sauce)

Okay I know it sounds gross, but just try it...

The book says this is all two servings but that is insane! Even if you half this or split it in fourths you will feel like a fat piece of shit after eating it...just a warning!

I promise it is good!

  

So basically what you do is, fry the sausage in a large fry pan when it's almost done all green pepper, black pepper and red pepper (not too much pepper, unless you like things spicy then do whatever you want). Once that's all cooked add the beans, mix it and then cover the top with cheese. Put a cover on it, let it get all melty! While it is getting gooey gross, fry the eggs (however you like, we do sunny side up), and toast the toast. When the cheese is melty get a plate put down the toast then a heaping pile of the beans/sausage/cheese and the egg goes on top cover in hot sauce and serve with a Korbel mimosa and a lot of black coffee and TA-DA! The only thing left to do is find someone brave enough to eat this with you!

That's pretty much our go to cheap brunch meal!

I would like to someday try this on biscuits instead of toast I think that would be yummy!

Short post for today but, like I said June is going to be crazy and I am too broke to host...and all my friends suck too much to do a potluck type thing...

There are some things to look forward to though, like maybe some Tips & Tricks guest posts and a brunch that incorporates my two new obsessions: Bellini and food that is served on skewers (Pinterest told me anything can be made into a kebab)!

Also I found this today and it is funny and this not quite so funny but interesting...so read them because I have nothing else to say! 

Byeeee!

You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you..

Ah yes three is company too.

So lady day brunch was a flop...due to the high demand for fancy cakes and wicked cheap Cd's.

But dry those tears it all turned out okay!
I got to spend the day with my two (not related to me) best friends!!
It was nothing like Threes Company! I wish sometime it was...or wait no I don't. The dynamic is more or less Chrissie and I being nut jobs and Joe quietly rolling his eyes, pretending he doesn't mind listening to the same Lana Del Rey song over and over while hiding in our room.
So nothing is perfect, but we all had a good time. (No I do not know that as a fact but I chooses to believe Joe when he says he doesn't mind us...)

So the only thing I super regret is I had to bail on making all the food I had wanted because, honestly as much as I eat I couldn't eat that much!
So the menu was going to be:
Champagne waffles with whip cream and berries
Mini chocolate/ strawberry frosted doughnuts
Mini sausage egg tomato and cheese quiche
Mimosas
And a rainbow citrus salad.
Granted that was probably way way too much food for four "ladies", but we would have shared with the boys, I mean they could had the leftovers...
I also ditched all the decorating I was going to do, it was going to be over the top pink and gold, but none of that happened!

So what we did make:
Champagne waffles with strawberries and black berries
Sausage
And Joe had a Sausage, egg and cheese sandwich on sourdough toast
(He isn't big on sweet...boy aint right!)
And mimosas obviously, with pretty frozen orange and tangelo slices!


The only recipe you need for this is for the waffles! < click the word "waffles"
I know that is all in ounces and if you are like me you don't have a scale...I will try and find the recipe that is in cups... if you are good. Or you could always ask your roommate to borrow his digital scale (witch you only know he had because you walked in on things happening in the kitchen that made you feel like you were living with a way less funny version of this guy! (not that I am judging...except I totally am!)
Moving on, I think that recipe also has a recipe for chocolate butter, I don't think at this point in my life my brain could handle knowing a such thing as chocolate butter is attainable and not constantly eating it until my arteries clog like like the toilet of a Taco Bell. I have no self control, just ask my liquor cabinet.

On to the next thing you have to make whipped cream, you should know how to make whipped cream but:
Heavy whipping cream
a handful of sugar
vanilla extract (because it tastes better that way)
I sort of wish I had put a little orange zest in because I think that would have been awesome so I recommend doing that!

So basically how this should all work is: Slice oranges and put in freezer (I have a feeling I did this the night before but a 12pack or beer and a pound of bacon was consumed so the night is a little fuzzy) anyways do it now, put sausage on a baking sheet and put it in the oven, then cut strawberries, plug in waffle maker, make waffle batter (the champagne is now open so make a drink dumdum) grease waffle make and get them on fast this batter drys out super quick (if you are making more than two waffles make separate batches of batter) when the waffles are done wrap them in foil and put them in the oven, then put all the whip cream stuff in the blender and turn it on while that's whipping fry the egg for the egg sandwich and put the sourdough with cheese on it in the oven (I actually don't assume anyone will be doing this...)
BAM you are done!

So brunch extends from ten am all the way to two pm specifically so that you don't have to be up and cooking early. Chrissie is an insane person who somehow missed this so she was up at like eight, this is particularly insane because we had been up till two am the night before drinking. Anyways she left and then came back at ten or so I was sleeping still so she went to Dunkin Donuts and got a box of Joe and munchkins, I still don't understand this because I have good coffee at my house and we were cooking so the munchkins were overkill (not that it matters my roommate ate them all and drank the coffee for like two days...ewwe?) I finally woke up showered and we cooked. Our brunch was super low key, we had bought four bottles of champagne though because we thought we might need them, so we all spent the rest of the day on my back porch avoiding bees, drinking champagne and debating what we should do with the day. Finally we decided it was time to eat again so we went to Uno's and then walked for a bit. I still have one bottle of champagne...I am sure not for long though.
All in all it was pretty fantastic, we all ate too much and I can't say the next morning was good but we had fun!

I am not sure what I want to do for June brunch, maybe something at my mom's, seeing as we will be there for baby Bears birthday...oh wow Baby Bears Birthday Brunch, I love the alliteration in that, that might HAVE to happen.

Nothing ever goes as planned

So why bother?

Because sometimes it turns out okay...

Lady day turned into just Chrissie Joe and I having brunch, it was pretty awesome.

I am still bummed the ladies couldn't make it though, seriously how am I supposed to host a brunch every month if everyone bails...it's not going to work.

I need a new plan...

However that will have to come on a later date (as will my three is company brunch post...)

because it's too damn early, and I am sad today. I need a vacation, and it's raining and I forgot my umbrella and am wearing shoes with holes (I knew it was going to rain too but I left the house at six am after the worst night sleep ever and just couldn't get it together).

Ah anyways ....

Well, well, well

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I would honestly be so into this...

http://textsfromhillaryclinton.tumblr.com/

Tips and tricks from someone who has no clue what they are talking about!

Sounds totally reassuring right?
I mean does anyone ever really know what they are talking about?

Annnyways I am going to tell you two of my brunch "secrets" (because this months brunch is taking forever)
They both happen to be about (store bought) spice blends being used in a way you might not expect!
The first:

What could you possibly use that for in a brunch?

Potatoes!

I started using way too much of this stuff when I lived if Florida. I was mostly eating vegan, and was super broke but got produce fo free once a week (my roomie was part of FNB). The beginning of the week was always awesome we had so many fresh veggies but toward the end of the week it always seemed to be a few potatoes and random squashes, what do you make for a meal with one potato and one summer squash (or eggplant)? 

Hash obviously. 

So I would cut up the potato boil it (for time saving), cut the squash and put them both in a pan with a little olive oil, a shit load of Montreal seasoning and crushed red pepper and...TA-DA!

So fast forward a few years...I randomly buy some of this magic stuff for steak maybe?...well for what doesn't really matter, I got some used it once and then it sort of just sat there for a year because my boyfriend is really plain jane about food...he doesn't like things with lots of spices or fancy sauce so I always assumed he wouldn't like the grillers breakfast potato hash. 

Then we came home from Christmas at his parents with four left over baked potatoes?! Like what do you do with that? 

Make hash obviously! 

So I pulled out our brand new tabletop skillet thing and cut up the potatoes a little olive oil and a little butter, start frying and decide it was time to be adventurous...why not...fuck it! So on the seasoning went...and you know what....Joe loved it! 

So now every time we have breakfast potatoes they have Montreal steak seasoning on them, and they are great! 

My other tip has a similar story...sort of. The difference is it's actually my secret because no one watches me cook normally and I never felt like telling. It's not really anything special, just how to make an omelet awesome (not the technique because honestly every time I may omelets its only by some crazy miracle that they come out looking like omelets at all but how to make an omelet taste good).

So how to make a really good omelet? Season it dum-dum!

It's not that I don't like the taste of eggs (I sorta don't) but why don't people season them ever?

I am not talking a little salt and pepper I am talking like real seasoning, herbs and spices ya know?

So what do I season them with?

Grinders Italian herbs and spices.

To be fair I season everything with this (when Joe isn't looking) but it's sooo good!

For omelets I normally use that stuff, pepper and a little crushed red pepper (yes, we do put crushed red pepper in EVERYTHING).

So those are my tips (maybe I will post tips once a week...with some guest tips and tricks...who knows?).

Also I said this month was going to be fantastic lady day brunch but I lied (scheduling issues)

But this month will be either pizza brunch or smoothie bar, I have not decided yet. 

OKAY, BYE!

OH! HI!

On weekends sometime between the hours of 10am and 2pm a wonderful thing happens in homes and restaurants across the world, that wonderful thing is BRUNCH!

Why is brunch so wonderful? If you don't know...go away! 

No you can stay, I will tell you.

Brunch is the perfect meal, its casual, it takes the good parts of breakfast and sets them at a time people who hate mornings can stand and well there is booze normally...it really doesn't get better!

So the reasons behind this blog, and what exactly it is I am doing here (other than making an obvious argument for brunch):

I am doing this for two reasons really, first to honor my fathers memory. My dad was a bit antisocial and I truly believe he didn't like people, but boy did he like cooking for them. Every time I saw him he had new crazy cooking stories, ideas and recipes from parties he or his girlfriend had or were planning. No stories about the parties themselves just about the food. I always enjoyed sharing recipes with him while being super judgmental about the other people in whatever place we were, so this is a way I can continue to do that.

The second reason is underneath my super cynical personality there is a tiny Martha Stewart living inside me knitting kitten sweaters, perfecting the the golden tips of her baked Alaska and attempting to brighten my personalty with glitter and tissue paper flowers all at the same time. She needs an outlet and I need an excuse to make all of the things I pin to my "someday" boards on Pinterest. 

So taking all of that and my almost unhealthy love of brunch, it seems only natural to host a themed brunch once a month and share all the wonderful details here, Yippee!

Not sure the theme for April yet, Special Lady Day...maybe, I will let you know.

-K

Oh hey and check out my logo/ header my awesome sister made it!!!